I just realized how lonely i really am.
I wonder if people see the drudgery of everyday life… Or if it’s only my life that’s this dull. I never look forward to anything substanstial and important anymore. The routine had killed what others may call ‘life’. The coming and goings of the weeks past feels like the tapping you’d hear in your skull whenever someone thought it’d be funny to subject you to the Chinese Water Torture - you feel relieved that the drop has finally fallen and one moment later you dread the uncertainty of the next one.
~*~*~*
I have lost something along the way, maybe a year back give or take a few months or so leaving a void in my humanity. The void is no longer there though; something else replaced what was lost. That’s the funny thing - I don’t know what to call what that was lost and what replaced it. Maybe i knew what it was a long time ago, but now, everything is vague, smokes and ghosts in a trick mirror looking back at me.
~*~*~*
I feel empty.
*toilet flushes*