[One-shot] That obligatory imaginary last letter everyone should write before one dies

To my family:

No, you’re not first because you’re that special to me. Fine, blood really is thicker than water, but come on, can you really say that you know me well after a quarter of a century living together under the same roof? I can’t blame you though - this materialistic society doesn’t exactly give people much choice on what to spend time on. It would have been nice if you were around for a lot of things, but I managed. Maybe I became stronger because of that, and honestly, i believe kids should be kicked out of the house after HS to fend for themselves. That’s the reason why there’s a lot of wimps around - they don’t really get to experience hardships early enough that they won’t fuck up bigger decisions later in life.Thank you for leaving me alone to fend for myself. And no, I don’t want you in my funeral. I lived alone, I will die alone.

To that female HS buddy of mine:

I’m really sorry if I wasn’t that good a friend before. I was young, stupid, naive and well, unappreciative. It’s been what, eight years? since we’ve last talked, and one thing i really want to do before I kick the bucket is to catch up with you. You’ve been a good friend before, and an interesting person at that. And I think I can say I did love you in the way only friends can love each other without feeling gay or awkward or what not. Thank you for all those years in HS. HS sucked big time, but it didn’t suck as much because of you. Do pass by my grave once in a while - I’ll keep you company there just like the old times, talking about anything under the sun and bullshitting each other in the way only friends can.

To that OTHER female HS buddy of mine:

We’ve walked down separate paths, and i’m very much confident that if those paths ever cross again we’d still be good friends.  We’d had misunderstandings, we’ve had the usual fights and yet here I am, still confident and secure that despite the time and distance, we’re still best of friends. If there’s one thing I will never forget about you, it’s your kindness. You accepted everybody under your wing and yet you still keep enough kindness for yourself. That alone is a big accomplishment for someone who devoted her life to others. Thank you for the kindness, the memories and the friendship. May people find a friend just like you - it’ll make the world a better place, trust me. Even if I don’t really believe nor subscribe in your faith, I’ll pray for your well-being to your God. It’s the least I can do for you. And I think it was said in your Bible that the prayers of pagans who believe in Him weigh more than the prayers of the faithful. I hope whoever wrote that Bible of yours got that right.

To the bastards I had the misfortune of being classmates with:

Fuck you. And may you die a slow horrible painful death. If you won’t, I will personally haunt you and drag you to hell where you belong.

To the college friend whom I loved and didn’t love me back the way I wanted:

Despite the fact you’ve dumped me, I was and is still there for you. Come to think of it, after all has been said and done, it was good that you dumped me - if you haven’t, I may not have met and got to know really really really well this awesome lady. But still, it was an interesting four years. See you around, I hope. We would’ve made a good pair, but at times I’d have to agree to the observation that we’re better off as friends than lovers. Take care of that heart of yours, make sure the guy you hook up with is worth the love you are capable of giving. Pass by my grave once in a while and regal me with your stories OK? I’ll find a way to tell you mine; I do believe in quid pro quo.

To the ex:

I’ve said everything I have to say to you, there’s nothing else. This is the my ending to our story, I’ll be the keeper of everything we shared. Please don’t come to my funeral. That would be my final kindness to you - despite the hurt you gave me when you decided to just call it quits out of nowhere, I still don’t want to see you sad because of me. Trust me, you won’t like seeing me dead. Just remember me the way we last met - happy because I was with you, sad because real life demands that I leave your side for some time. I have come at peace with what happened - don’t worry, I won’t haunt you. I know of your fear about the supernatural. If anything, you’d just feel my presence whenever you need it. Despite everything I do still love you, you know.

To this wonderful lady I had the honor of meeting and knowing a few months prior this inconvenient thing called my death:

Hello there. It’s quite hard not to be giddy like a kid with this big crush on his teacher or that really cute classmate whenever I think of you. I don’t know why, but it’s not really hard to like you for your exuberance and optimism. Your this eternal source of sunshine in a dreary world, a wave of colors and light overrunning the sepia tone of my life. I’ve become so jaded that someone with so prosaic an outlook in life such as yours is a lovely novelty with an indeterminate value. I thank you for showing me what really matters in this world. You’ve taught me that it’s actually cool to be crazy and just flip the finger to anyone who complains. You’re a living, breathing example of c’est le vie. And you managed to rub that off me, even if we’ve known each other for so short a time.

You know what I really regret with my untimely passing? It’s that I will never get the chance to know you more. That I will never ask you to give me a chance to be your keeper. That I will never wake up to the sight of you peacefully sleeping beside me and know deep inside me that everything will be alright. That I will never hear your pretty voice and your lovely laugh again. That I will never have the chance to prove to you the man that I could be. That I will never have the chance to prove that I’m worthy of your love.

But despite that, I thank you. I can still die happy, having seen what heaven might look like.

(end)

(A/N: What a long-ass title. Inspired by a severe very-late-night - or really early morning, if you think about it - angina. It’s good that we are reminded of our mortality once in a while; we tend to appreciate things more if they are about to be taken away from us. This work is fictional in its entirety, the characters concerned here are arbitrarily constructed from ether. In no way do they resemble anyone in the author’s real life… if you can call what he has as a life.)